" Baby Blues"

Most mums silently struggle with post natal depression and some with just 'Baby Blues' because many are too afraid to mention it for fear of being shamed. In the times of our grandparents most people lived together with quite a few people in each household, yes it was super cramped but also there were many hands to help when it was needed.

Mental Health is not like a physical ailment that you can see instantly and that is the major difficult part about it. In modern days, such as our current era- many mums, like myself ,for example are figuring it all out on their own, along with the Dads if they are lucky to have that support as well. It is not an easy process to go through but with help and support your road can be much easier to travel.

How can you tell if you have 'baby blues' ? You are usually a bit more moody and irritable and this phase normally lasts after birth to about 2 weeks post delivery.

Post partum depression or post natal depression however, lasts longer than 2 weeks and the symptoms are more intense. Some moms don't even want to hold their baby and feel more stressed out and get upset when they cry. The signs will show if family members pay attention and in these cases the moms really do need help. A GP or your gynecologist may be able to assist with some medication but if the symptoms persist maybe they can refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist for further intervention.

Having a new baby is not just all happy and fun, it comes with a lot of stress and fear of the unknown as well. It is great that more books and magazines and even some tv shows are able to show others what post natal depression is and how the mom can be helped. It is not easy talking to just anybody and sometimes even family members can be super judgmental. If you have a close friend, neighbor or even a work colleague that you trust maybe share some of what you are experiencing with them. Your partner should also be involved as much as possible to help you cope with your mental health and to help you with the baby as well.

Every person is different and we all react to situations in our own way. What has helped me a lot if I was overwhelmed by my baby crying was to go into another room for a few seconds while he was in the cot safely and with something to comfort him like a teddy bear or blanket and after a few deep breaths and trying to calm myself down I would then attend to him. When you are living alone and do not have any help, it can be very overwhelming for a new mother to deal with everything on her own. Some may not approve of this method but for me it helped, to keep me calmer and more focused on the baby than letting my feelings of anxiety and despair get the better of me.

I have always felt that being at work is much easier than being a full time stay at home parent and I still feel the same way. Every person's experience is different but I speak for myself when I say the hardest job is being a stay at home mother!

Please be aware of your feelings and if you are around a new mother please be considerate of her feelings, instead of judgement rather pay her a compliment or give her some time out even if she has to just sleep or watch a movie in another room. Sometimes the best help you can give is to let her do a normal task while you see to the baby. A simple thing like washing the dishes may help more than you realize while somebody else attends to your baby.

A professional body that you can use to get help is the South African Depression and Anxiety Group ( SADAG). They have a 24 hour helpline and on the website they have different sections depending on what each person's needs are. You can go to www.sadag.org or contact them on 0800 456 789. They may be able to refer you to someone who can assist you. Do not be afraid and please do not suffer in silence. There is help available.

Stay well and look after your mental health, it is just as important as your physical health and well being.